Coercive Control Consulting Institute

The CIA Framework for Protective Parenting – Part Four

Dr Christine Cocchiola — Fri, 07 Mar 2025 14:00:00 +0000

Coercive controllers are strategic. Protective parents must be too. The key is to create consistent, authentic connection without pressure or expectation. This is where the CIA framework comes in: Creativity, Intentionality, and Attunement. Creativity: Finding New Ways to Connect When a child is being manipulated, direct conversations about the coercive controller often backfire. Instead, focus ...

How Protective Parents Can Maintain and Rebuild Connection – Part Three

Dr Christine Cocchiola — Thu, 06 Mar 2025 14:00:00 +0000

Coercive controllers work relentlessly to fracture a child’s attachment with the protective parent. Your job is to be just as intentional about preserving it. This means being the steady, safe presence they can return to when they are ready. Clarity Without Confrontation Children in these situations are often confused. They hear one reality at the ...

Why Children Align with the Abuser – Part Two

Dr Christine Cocchiola — Wed, 05 Mar 2025 14:00:00 +0000

Why Children Align with the Abuser (and Why It’s Not Their Fault) It’s one of the hardest things a protective parent can experience. Watching their child align with the person who has caused so much harm. It feels like betrayal. But in reality, it’s survival. Children do not have the cognitive or emotional capacity to ...

How Protective Parents Can Rebuild Bonds & Counteract Manipulation – A Four Part Series

Dr Christine Cocchiola — Tue, 04 Mar 2025 14:00:00 +0000

“Coercive control is child abuse.” That statement may feel harsh to some, but not calling it what it is would be a lie. When a coercive controller manipulates and conditions a child, teaching them to distrust, fear, or reject their protective parent – it is abuse. It is a deeply insidious form of psychological warfare, ...

How Coercive Controllers Weaponize Children in Custody Battles

Dr Christine Cocchiola — Fri, 14 Feb 2025 14:00:00 +0000

Your ex isn’t just being difficult… they are using your child to control you. This isn’t co-parenting. This is abuse. While they play the calm, collected parent in court, you’re left fighting for your child’s well-being, painted as the unstable one. Sound familiar? Introduction Coercive control is the underpinning of all abuse. It can be ...

Extinguishing the Fire: Healing Our Children’s Wounded Hearts

Dr Christine Cocchiola — Mon, 03 Feb 2025 17:21:36 +0000

Coercive control ignites a fire within our children, a fire fueled by shame and manipulation. To extinguish this fire, we must consistently show up as loving, accepting parents. We need to offer them a lifeline, a space where they can release their pain without fearing rejection. Our primary role is to carry their pain and ...

The Loss and the Grief are Unacknowledged and Insurmountable

Dr Christine Cocchiola — Tue, 28 Jan 2025 17:19:30 +0000

Coercive control doesn’t just take away a sense of safety or stability; it robs children and protective parents of so much more. There are many losses and these losses permeate so many aspects of our lives. We need to understand that grief is beyond mourning the loss of a loved one; it’s about grappling with ...

Understanding the Trauma Reactions Children May Have While Living in a Home or Sharing Custodial Time with a Coercive Controller: Part 2

Dr Christine Cocchiola — Sun, 26 Jan 2025 17:13:48 +0000

We have explored the concepts of Fight and Fawn, discussing how children often mimic these behaviors as coping mechanisms in abusive environments. I want to focus on two additional trauma reactions in this blog: Flight & Freeze. Flight Escaping the Threat Flight is not just about physical escape; it’s a psychological response to perceived danger. ...

Understanding the Trauma Reactions Children May Have While Living in a Home or Sharing Custodial Time with a Coercive Controller: Part 1

Dr Christine Cocchiola — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 06:30:57 +0000

Children who have been exposed to coercive control carry an immense amount of shame. Dr. Stark refers to them as secondary victims, acknowledging that their abuse is secondary to the primary focus of the abuser – the protective parents. It is disheartening to witness our children treating us poorly, and displaying disrespect and entitlement. However, ...